The best stories at Thanksgiving often come out by accident, between the turkey and the pie, and are gone by Monday. A few good questions, asked on purpose, can bring out the stories your family has never heard. Here are twenty, and a way to keep the answers.
In short
- Ask one question at a time, then follow where it goes. “What happened next?” works better than the next question on the list.
- Let them answer in their own words, and don't correct the details.
- Keep the answers. A voice note, or Shaterian on their iPhone, keeps them in their own words.
Childhood
- What was Thanksgiving like when you were a child? Who was at the table?
- What did your house smell like on a holiday morning?
- What did you want to be when you grew up?
- Who was your best friend at ten, and what did you get up to?
Food and family
- Who taught you to cook, and what did they make best?
- Is there a family recipe that was never written down?
- What dish did you hate as a child and love later?
- Which relative told the best stories?
Work and the world
- What was your first job, and what did it pay?
- What's the hardest thing you ever did at work?
- Where were you when you heard the biggest news of your life?
- What changed the most in your lifetime?
Love and choices
- How did you meet the people who mattered most in your life?
- What's the best decision you ever made?
- What would you do differently?
- What were you most afraid of when you were our age?
For the people at the table
- What do you want the grandchildren to know about you?
- What's a family story you think we've got wrong?
- What are you proudest of?
- What's something you've never told us?
How to keep the answers
Stories told at the table tend to be lost by the next holiday. You can record a voice note, write them down that evening, or set up Shaterian on your parent's iPhone. With Shaterian, they tap once and talk, and what they say is written down and kept on their own iPhone, with no account to create. Each day, Smith asks them one question about their life, so the stories keep coming after the holiday. Later, they can ask about their own memories in their own words.
If you'd like to see the routines and reminders they choose to share, and only the memories they pick, Shaterian Caregiver does that on your iPhone. To try both together, with a free month of each, see how to set it up together, or sign up at shaterian.com/test and choose “My parent or relative”.
